Well, giving myself permission to be down for a few days was a very good idea. I am a plan for all contingencies kind of person so when this first antibiotic (clarithromycin) took me down for the count I was not anxious.

I did cheat. The other two meds were not kept in stock at my drugstore so I got the clarithromycin first, so I started taking it. I have not started the other two yet. I think this is how it should be prescribed. At least I will know which med causes any really terrible effect. This one was nasty – nauseating, terrible stomach cramps, ridiculous dry mouth as well as the taste of death in my mouth. But now, taken my fifth in the sequence of at least 770 and it has mellowed out. I am however left with some really obnoxious gastrointestinal problems! Hopefully that will mellow out or I will never leave the house.

I have the Ballet tonight so I will start taking another med tomorrow.

I am already finally able to breathe using my diaphragm.

I really hope I can do these meds! Well, I may ask him to switch one. The one that frequently causes vision loss is making me anxious. I do not want to be worrying about that for a year.

Speaking of leaving the house today NEW PHONE DAY!!! I want the Droid Turbo 2. I think. My husband really wants me to get an iPhone, and maybe I will. Maybe not.


It’s not you…it’s me.

Somedays I start to think it must just be me. Doctors must be just nuts. Sorry to my doctor friends, but there you go.


Somehow yesterday I hurt my back. I don’t know. I did have a little slip (not on the floor – just the bottle shifted unexpectedly) when I was changing the bottled water, and I did have physical therapy, and I did work out..One or all of those things hurt me. I must have woken up every 30 minutes making sad little sounds. I am frequently in pain, but almost never because I hurt myself!

I am still not over whatever it was making me sick last week, and then chemo so I really have no idea if this shot is working or not because it’s not a fair trial yet. I am SO SO SO SO SO tired of being sick, I can’t even tell you. It was so hard to breathe last night when I was working out, then today the Infectious Disease Dr’s office called and asked me to make a follow up appointment for TWO WEEKS because that’s how long we’re going to wait to see what the results from the culture are. Now I am really confused about what the pulmonologist wants to see me about. Bastards.

I finally got my new hearing aid today! It fits a lot better than my old one. The technology has changed in five years they tell me and the sounds should be even better. I like the bluetooth functionality but it seems to drop quite a bit. When it disconnects it doesn’t re-connect with out me restarting my phone. It could be my phone. It is an older phone that my wonderful son in law gave me. When it’s working – the phone feeds directly into the hearing aid. Music, phone calls, notifications – everything. Lovely. Of course, I don’t always have my phone within bluetooth range so once the novelty wears off I probably won’t use it much. It’s just a fun option.

Went shopping for new shorts yesterday because my only pair were sliding off during PT. Grabbed a pair in my new size 6 and put them on and just stared for like five minutes. They were quite a bit too big. Finally went and grabbed a size 4 and they are perfect. Not even a little bit tight. That’s crazy. I think it has a lot to do with the cut, but still! Think what I could do if I were actually healthy. 🙂

I am going to start working in May. Not much. Only a few hours a week from home. We’ll see how that goes. It’s funny to think that not much more than a year ago I was working a lot and well and now I have trouble committing to a few hours a week. The problem is consistency. I have good hours almost every day. I just don’t know when they will be, or if they will be. And if I only have four good strong hours in a day, I have to use them wisely!

Okay – enough of the daily whine.





Just a quick post for my memoirs – nothing new here.

I understand the reviews for the infectious disease doctor. He is very quiet, very serious, and  very thoughtful. Not like, oh I remember your birthday but he is a thinker. We had a good talk and he understands my perspective, I understand his as well, I just do not like it. He just does not have enough information to treat me yet. Got the unofficial word yesterday that he did consult with the lab and my culture is still growing, – just slowly…very slowly. I just need to wait. Hopefully it will soon get big enough to identify.

Having him tell me that he suspects my lungs are permanently damaged by scar tissue was like someone punching me. I was devastated. But that was then and this is now.  Lungs are alive and there are people who have 3/4’s of their lung removed and go on to be marathoners. I can certainly train my lungs to function enough for me to run a mile, or do an hours worth of circuit training without seeing black dots! Just need to clear up the infection first and be patient.

Over the last ten years or so once or twice a year I develop terrible stomach and intestinal problems. My stomach feels like someone is punching from the inside out. Usually lasts about five days. I suspect gallbladder or pancreatitis. This is that week. And then I had chemo. And they also gave me a shot that effects a hormone that works on your digestive system. I do not even know what I am sick with today. 🙁 Hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow.

I also noticed that today the bursitus in my hips is really really bad. I wonder if it is the chemo or the shot?

My daughter was kind enough to brandish a pair of pliers and remove my earrings that were put in a couple of months ago so I can finally start wearing other earrings in new holes. My daughter is very cool.

Beautiful sunny day and since I am forced to take it slow I can just enjoy it.



Up Up and Away

Good Morning!

I wonder if people like to be my workout partner because I do everything slowly now? They don’t have to keep up. If that’s the case they are (hopefully) in for quite a surprise in a week or so! – Oh! Last night I was doing the easiest of all things with a kettlebell and thought wow this is harder than I expected – after I was done I looked and it was a 30 pound kettlebell. That’s PRETTY DAMN GOOD!

Met with my oncologist yesterday. I swear I was almost in full blown panic attack before I got there. I didn’t even know how anxious I was until I started driving there. When I looked at the CT scan I saw a whole lot of stuff in lung that wasn’t there before. I told my husband but I also told him it was probably my inaccurate reading, and I thought I believed myself until I was almost to the oncologist. The good news is that after a second opinion by my pulmonologist who is an expert CT Reader everyone thinks it is all infection. THURSDAY! Infectious disease Doc on THURSDAY!!

My Oncologist made me feel better about the ID Doc. He said he has a really good rep among Doctors and that what I have is just really not common so having someone with a lot of experience is a very good idea. My Oncologist also seems to really respect my Pulmonologist. So I will keep on putting up with their annoying communication practices.

My oncologist is also now trying to get approval from my insurance company for a new med for damaged intestines – a monthly shot – I drove home picturing salads. 🙂

New Hearing Aid Wednesday!! PURPLE with BLUETOOTH!

Our summer preview yesterday made me grab a pair of shorts which let me know that I do not have even one pair of shorts that fit me. I feel a trip to the thrift store is needed. My sister is having another clothing drive in May I think so I can get rid of a few boxes full of clothes.

Frank has a Vet appointment this morning. I feel bad for him. He gets so scared and he will be getting shots and a nail trim.  🙁

I am getting very tired of being sick and of having three doctors appointments a week – but I think there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel.