Last night I dreamed I was trying to get to some sort of sporting event and was having trouble. Then somehow someone in charge gave me special passes for something.

i also dreamed I met a man wearing a green suit who I had some sort of special psychic connection with.



A couple of weeks ago I was driving down the highway and looked over and saw someone I knew driving next to me. I immediately remembered that this person died about 10 years ago, so…

I am sure this happens to all of us I am sure. My other common occurrence is seeing someone I knew from school and then realizing that they would be in their 50’s and this person is in their 20’s!

What if there are only about 10 Million people molds in the world and everyone is born using one of those molds? Life, environment and personality would of course alter their look as time goes on but it would certainly explain all of the times you think you see someone you know and then realize it is someone completely different.

I have had this idea running through my head for a couple of weeks and then the other day I was at lunch and a man walked in who looked so much like my late father that I could not stop staring. I took a picture and sent it to my sister  who was startled too. He even moved like my dad. The only thing was the back of his neck, not quite right.

I received all of my course materials yesterday for my certification. Started reading Holistic Anatomy. No matter what word you put in front of it, Anatomy is anatomy and is not my favorite subject. Starting with cells and chemistry. So dry. I have already learned so many things, and had so many other concepts reinforced with the onine materials. Everything is of course focused on plant based foods, if there was ever a thought in my head to stop being a vegetarian a week of absorbing this information would definitely put a stop to it.

I met my personal goal for May. It was to switch to a much harder workout for at least ten workouts. I believe it worked as it seems to now be a habit. Good for my body! Pushing myself is not really my strong suit and I have to find ways to trick myself into it. I am so lucky to be able to do things. Any things. So many people are not in my position. I hope I never lose the gratitude I feel on a daily basis.


My heart hurts.

I don’t know what to say. I know people die every day, and I know because I choose to make contact with other people who have cancer it will be a part of life, but this one hurts.

i met someone while we were both getting chemo. Found out we shared four years of High school together and now we shared an oncologist. And now she has died.

i want to call my doctor and offer him sympathy but also ask why? What was different?


What up?

Hey, don’t get used to this blog layout either. Just can’t find the one with the features I want in the layout that I want. I will keep looking.

So, I signed up for a Holistic Nutritionist Certification course.

  • ho·lis·tic
  • adjective

    1. characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole.
      characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the physical symptoms of a disease.

I have spent so long researching food and how to work with food to heal your body or at least not hurt your body while dealing with cancer and other ailments. I keep wanting to talk to people about it but I want something to back up what I say. I have been thinking about this for years and wanting to do it but it seemed silly to invest the money, it’s not cheap, in something that I am not sure I can even succeed in finishing and once I do there is no real purpose for it. We’ll see what happens. It’s been a long time since I had to learn in that type of situation.

If I can make it through this, and succeed and pay it off, I want to also take a course in Plant Based nutrition done though Cornell that is available online. I think it would round things off nicely. I will of course be insufferable over the next few months as I go through this. I can’t think of anything more satisfying than helping other cancer patients with their food choices.

I have some sort of mental block about volunteering for, or dealing with, cancer support organizations. There are a couple of different crazies bouncing in my head about it. One is that as much as bitch about not getting all the free stuff other people seem to, I hate accepting help from other people. It’s like admitting I am sick. I know, duh… My other thing is that I have some weird association of cancer patients/survivors volunteering and then becoming martyrs, after they die! So of course if I start volunteering the chemo will immediately stop working and I will die. Right?

I am just sucking it up and going to try. I haven’t overcome any fears recently so I guess I will kill a few birds and all that.

WAIT! I forgot to tell you! Edit:

90% of the time I go to the gym by myself. 90-% of the workouts you do the circuit with the same person beside you. The last time I worked out I ended up with a trainer swap and got the trainer everyone is scare of AND my partner ended up b I got a good looking, young, yoga instructor! Holy hockey, I hav never worked out so hard! He was very nice.  🙂