Am I blue?

Not if you’re eating blueberries you aren’t!

These things have gotten a much deserved reputation as superfood. They are wonderful little juice filled bombs of goodness.

Throw them in your cereal, throw them in your yogurt, or just throw them in your mouth! The blueberry season is winding down in North America but luckily frozen blueberries are just as good for you as fresh.

The American Institute for Cancer Research tells us they are among the highest levels of antioxidants contained in a fruit. Every person regardless of their health status, but especially those with compromised immune systems can benefit from eating high antioxidant foods.



Old Hurts and Resentments

So this is what happened.

When I was about 40 I started having period problems. Terrible horrible period problems. I went to my doctor and told her, and she said, hmm, well let’s wait and see what happens. So we waited. Six months later more problems, lots of pain, terrible things happening. Call my doctor, she says, hmm probably nothing but let me see if I can get you a doctor to help. I don’t know what she said to these doctors but no one would see me. And then, my problems stopped. No more pain, no more periods, ever. She said, weird, early menopause. I said, okay, great.

A few months later I went to an endocrinologist who said, no. You should be checked. This is not normal. Went back to my doctor and she said, hmmm, no it’s okay.

Two years later I was diagnosed with stage 3b cervical cancer. I was diagnosed because I switched doctors and because my cancer finally advanced enough to show up on a pap. My particular cervical cancer went inward and I had a very large tumor on the outside of my uterus.

So Doctor #1 is not my favorite person. I did, as a patient, what I was supposed to do.

Last night I went to the support group at my Doctors office/Chemo Center. My doctor, who is also a cancer survivor was speaking and I really wanted to hear his story. It was great, I really enjoyed it. He has so much of the same outlook as me that now I understand why we always got along.

During the Q&A session a heard a voice say from behind me “well, I am glad you are my oncologist”. Turn around and SON OF A BITCH it’s doctor #1. I was just overcome by anger. I had to leave before there was any chance we came face to face. My reaction surprised me. Not my normal reaction, and not what I want to feel in any situation.

Anger Gauge Representing Dial Outraged And Scale

I think I probably need to find a way to get over it, but I honestly doubt I will, so I am not going to spend too much time worrying about it!


Wait, what now?

I hear this so often in support groups in different forms.

With most early stage cancers you go through the treatment regimen, they cut out your cancer and then the medical profession says “See Ya!” You go in for your prescheduled checkups and just hope for the best.

Everyone is different, so I can only tell you about me. What did I do to give myself some sort of control over the situation.

Get your body in shape

Less than 5% of women with Stage 1b cervical cancer and small tumors will have a reoccurrence. 30-40% of Stage 1b with bulky tumors will have a reocurrence.

That is almost the lowest stage, the safest stage of diagnosed cancer and still, 30-40% of cancers will pop their ugly heads back up. Get ready for it, NOW.

Get your body in shape. Learn about nutrition, eat the right foods. Get the right exercise. Take care of all of those pesky physical issues that you have been dealing with and just didn’t make the effort to fix. Bad cholesterol, diabetes, high fat percentage? These are ALL risks for cancer. They also will make it much more difficult to deal with additional treatments down the line so take care of it now! Be Strong, be tough! Get your immune system in fighting ready shape!

Get your mind in shape

Decide your priorities now and act on them. Want to get a better job so you have more security? Now is the time. Once you are rediagnosed you will not be in a position to bring a lot to the table for a new employer.

Want a better relationship with friends and family? NOW! DO IT NOW! Mend those fences.

Some people do better to never think about their impending cancer diagnosis, that wasn’t me. I needed to plot and plan. Prepare for the worse, hope for the best, right? Most people have a renewed sense of themselves after Cancer, use this to make yourself the person you really want to be.

Get your soul in shape

Give back. Join support groups, volunteer your time. It doesn’t have to be with Cancer based organizations, but find a way to help your fellow man. You will feel better about yourself and it will help you get right with yourself in the long term.





Another quick week

Time goes goes by so quickly. This week I started working a few hours in The Cancer Connection offices, which I will now start doing regularly. I am hoping to find a place there that will allow me to help them do what they do.

This week marks three years since I met my oncologist. If I hadn’t switched to him I believe that I would be dead. I am not.

I have been having a particularly strong reaction to one of my meds this week so last night I did a home cocktail of numbing agents inside me which allowed me to sleep. Slept so much I  woke up two hours later than intended and am still quite mellow. Thank goodness for homemade medicine. 🌿☘️🍃🍀🌱

Clare’s husband posted on her instagram that he will be using all of the comments people posted after her death as a slide show during her funeral service. I think that is a wonderful idea.

A year ago we brought Dusty home from The Humane Society. How does time go so fast?