at least I made some good soup

I am having some trouble getting there this week. I really just want to stay in bed.

I keep having to remind myself to unclench my jaws.

Fighting through it.

Yesterday my nurse practitioner extraordinaire called to give me the news, I put her out of her misery quickly and let her know I already knew.

Spending the afternoon with my daughter will help.

I have to get back to the gym. My hips are just so bad. These months off and some alternative treatment is helping. Stopped running on the treadmill, that has helped a lot. All of my arm muscles are gone! Now is the time to feel strong.

Up. Always up.


EDIT – it is a control thing. I have done everything right, mostly. I have tried so hard, I have followed all directions, and yet still, I have no control. That is what really aggravates me. I hate being out of control.







4 thoughts on “at least I made some good soup

  1. No control sucks. I think that’s why I have major issues with anything medical. How to get around that, I suppose is partly realizing it’s an issue. And having trust in your doctors has to be a slight plus.
    And yeah, unclench your jaw. I do that too and it’s freaking painful after awhile! My sister scrapes her pointer fingernail on the side of her thumbnail. I’ve seen that thing look raw. I still think it’s better than jaw clenching.
    Not much consolation, but know you have lots of healing / helping/ positive vibes/ energy/ prayers to the universe and all always coming your way!! <3

  2. I constantly have to unclench my jaw. I am sure that is why I have so many cracked teeth. With all the dental work, maybe I should have had some really strong magnets to upper and lower teeth so that the upper & lower jaws would repel and and not grind together. Of course, that might make it difficult to chew. That would not be a bad thing for me, either. I am actually getting some jaw-specific wrinkles! So awesome. Anyway, I am sending you good and positive thoughts all through the day!

  3. I think the control thing is huge. You try to do everything right and whatever is going to happen still happens. It is very frustrating.

    I hope you were able to have a nice afternoon with your daughter.

    I wish I could shore you up and help you get there.

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