I need this stage to be over.
I am sore, and ugly.
I have large bruises all over my chest and stitches. It hurts when I move my left hand.
If I touch my head a cloud of long disgusting hair falls around me.
I took a shower and then had to spend 10 minutes combing my hair to be able to get all of the hair in one spot so I could tie it back to keep it from falling in my food. Nothing I can do about my bangs, or what’s left of them. My scalp is very white. I may try self tanner once it’s all gone!
Corey better use the clippers on my head tonight or I will do it myself. If left on it’s own I think all of my hair would be gone in about five days but my psyche cannot last that five days.
My eyelashes have gaps now too and keep falling in my eyes. I am not shaving my eyelashes
My arms still have all of their hair.
Because of the new port I can’t really get up and jump around and do things that will make me feel better about myself. It’s all just ego right now. I hate looking this bad but I don’t have the energy to look any better.
This port is very much less painful that my first one.It is also 1/3 the size so long term will be far less uncomfortable I hope.
I am working for 30 minutes, resting for 30 minutes.
My brain is scattered.
I feel useless.
My yellow bird died this morning too.
Wow – that was a long list of whining. I feel better for having said it all so I won’t delete it. The bad with the good, right?
How did people without a big circle of friends and family survive cancer treatment before the internet? I don’t know. I would just sit in my house and cry if it wasn’t for all of my friends out there and my ability to research and read support forums to see everyone else dealing with the same things as me, and worse.
15 more minutes and back to work.