Hello my friend, hello.

I will occasionally type a word into google and then do an image search. Today I typed in “Anxiety”. I thought the images that were returned were really interesting. Anxiety looks like different things to different people.

For today I chose this one:



I had a good long weekend with my daughter. We enjoyed the no pressure’ness of it. Now I am unfortunately back to the reality of this week. Not that I ever really escape the reality of all of it. Little things all weekend were always reminding me.  Shopping all day on Saturday made me fingers and hands hurt so very much. My daughter was lovely with helping me do important things that I couldn’t face, like opening the wine. 🙂

I have been extra tired the last couple of weeks, probably from the medicine dosage experimentation, but then the last week or so I’ve had a new and worrisome issue. I have developed night sweats. Now, this is a thing with cancer. It’s actually one of the early symptoms. But what does it mean that it’s starting now? Does that mean my tumors are suddenly growing? Have I developed new tumors? I really hate that I go to a negative thought about it. I think if I wasn’t so tired I would be better at the positive.

This is also of course chemo week. So I have to start with the getting ready for that.

I think I will stop typing now. My moroseness is even bringing me down AND IT HURTS MY FINGERS!  SUCK!






6 thoughts on “Hello my friend, hello.

  1. Oooof, I feel that – Anxiety that is.
    Maybe some of your meds cause night sweats? It’s possible? Ugh, I spent all of last Feb – May with just soaking night sweats, til they figured out what was going on. I hope it’s maybe a med side effect for you and nothing more.
    Is your increase dosage for the neuropathy seeming like it helps? With my family member – they got to a certain point and more made them tired and loopy, and less was pain. Found a place where it’s just odd feeling now. Not pain, but not nothing either. So nice that you could get away. Hope you had a great time.
    Well, good luck this week. I’m sorry your fingers are hurting.
    Thoughts and prayers as always.

  2. I am so glad you were able to do your mother/daughter weekend. Glad it went well.

    I think when we are tired and worn out it makes it so much harder for us when weird stuff comes our way. I wonder if the medicine is actually causing the nightsweats? Could you ask your pharmacist? Of course, you should mention it to your doctor, too, but I seem to remember the list of side effects was really long and varied.

    You know you are always on my mind but I’ll be especially thinking of you this week with chemo coming up.

    Love and hugs kiddo!!!

  3. Yes…I’m going with meds too…I’ve had meds cause me night sweats. I’m sure my mind would go where yours did! I’m glad you had the Tracy/ Katy weekend….I cherish those times with my girls too even if it just means sitting around listening to them giggle, snipe at each other, then giggle!

    You have great teeth. I went to the dentist yesterday…no cavities but that is no shock because I don’t have a tooth in my mouth that doesn’t already have a filling….had an issue with a couple of back molars which I had to have some deep scraping on…I was very pissed off…just thankful my daughters both have beautiful white straight teeth. When I got home, I pulled up your FB page to see if there were any weekend pictures posted and saw the pic of you in the black hat and noticed how beautiful your teeth are and returned to my ugly teeth funk

    1. Nina! You just made me laugh and snort in a dead quiet office! I actually have terrible teeth. 75% of them are also filled, and four are just completely missing! Pisses me off to no end when I find another cavity. I take such good care of them but apparently they’re soft or missing enamel or something.

      And to all of you, yes I think it is probably the medicine, but it still makes me anxious. Just one more thing you know?

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