Since I was originally diagnosed in July 2011 cancer has become intertwined in every single part of my life. It is a part of everything I feel and do. It has become a determinant in what I eat, in how I schedule my life and my social events. Cancer forced me to examine the foods I eat and advance my education in food as a lifegiving, or life-shortening choice. I have had to rethink my attitudes toward interacting with strangers because my personal history with cancer means I have a moral obligation to pass on any information that can help another person. But despite all of that I rarely dream about cancer related things.
Last night I dreamed that cancer had spread to my left arm. After dealing with the information I had a social obligation that I had to attend. At this function chaos broke out and the person leading the event and I, through a random choice in seating, ended up next to each other and I was trying to help her as she unraveled due to all of the chaos. That was when I discovered she was an alcoholic and needed immediate intervention. I woke up as she was curled up in my arms agreeing to go to an in-house rehab.
Also – I slept so late I assumed Frank was dead and woke him up to check.
It is so strange how things unwind.