I love Chemo……

okay that should probably be followed by, said no one ever! What I want to talk about is hating chemo. I was reading an article on Facebook from IHadCancer.com and the comments are fairly typical on any commentable article about chemotherapy. There are always people commenting on how chemotherapy is horrible and has ruined their lives. I mean, lets be honest, it is, and it can. It’s purpose is to destroy cells. You are intentionally pumping poison into your veins.

Here’s the thing though, it is still the best way that is readily accessible, to keep you from dying from most cancers. I think that a lot of people go into chemotherapy the same way they would go into a cold pool. They just close their eyes, plug their nose and jump. I know that is how many people prefer to do things, and I am not saying they are wrong. You need to do whatever you need to do to get through your life. What I am saying is that I think that method is more likely to make you bitter about your treatment and hinder your recovery.

In my previous unread blog I likened my approach to chemo like a game. It sounds trite that way but it is accurate. I research, I look for shortcuts, I read other peoples strategies, what has worked and more importantly what hasn’t. I try everything. Every little trick to minimize the disruption that treatment can have while maximizing my chance to live.

I hate the side effects. It isn’t like I don’t have them. I have the headaches, and the yellow skin, and the burning stomach, and the nausea, and the cold stinging toes and fingers. Well you get the idea, I really did get almost every single possible side effect with this last round of treatment, and I just kept reminding myself,  “that means it’s doing something”. The first time I had chemo three years ago every time I threw up, or ran to the bathroom with unbelievable insane diarrhea I thought, oh! there goes some more cancer cells! I know it’s crazy, but it is what I had to do to make myself embrace chemotherapy in all its glory as a benefit to me. Eventually I went and researched how cells die and what happens to them and I found out that actually you are breathing out dead cells. So, now I think of long calming deep breaths as literally cleansing breaths.

Of course in the coming months you will see me bitch and whine about every single horrible physical thing that is happening to me, but eventually I will bounce back and remind myself how much I love chemo.

 

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5 thoughts on “I love Chemo……

  1. Jenny mentioned to me the other day that she thought I was ahead of my time or ahead of the mind over body connection because when she was really young and was sick, I would sit by her bead and tell her to concentrate on how her body was healing itself. Concentrate on how right now the antibiotics were helping her fight off ___________(insert appropriate bug). I sometimes forget to do that in myself even though I believe the healing power assist from the mind is an untapped resource. When you had your first chemo this time…that is what I thought…with each cc of chemo, I could see your mind doing a star wars type thing helping the vile poison get to the right cells and laser the shit out of them….but I think I would struggle with not just jumping in holding my nose because I wonder if my brain would be able to sort it all out…but then when your life depends on it…the gloves come off. Just ramblings…what’s in my mind when I think about what u are going through!

    1. Thank you Nina, I appreciate every ounce of healing you send me. I do believe in the mind body connection. I don’t know how anyone can not.

  2. I love your approach to this crappy, crap cancer. I love that you research and figure things out and visualize and I suppose I love it so much because it is so novel to me. I would not think of this stuff. I feel like you are teaching me important life lessons.

    So I was reading an exercise article, that I have lost track of, and the guy was like there is only one important exercise and it is strength training. I know you want to exercise as much as possible and I don’t know if you can still do the workouts but what if you bought little hand weights and did those as exercise??? It is something you could do at home. I don’t know if it would work for you but if I find the article. I will give you the link.

    1. That is exactly what I do! I have an assortment of weights as well as a resistance band and I am really trying to motivate to do it as often as possible. It’s just so important to keep the muscle that you’ve built. I really do think it makes your body function better and I need all the help I can get. 🙂
      Than you for saying I am teaching you a lesson, that made me smile. It is really a lovely compliment.

  3. You would be surprised at how much I listen to you. I wish I were a much better student in other areas. I guess I have hit that point where I realize that I don’t know as much as I once thought I knew. I try to find the lessons that all my friends have to teach but boy, oh boy, you are the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Thoughts?