It is not my fault!

Is it?

When something I own breaks or get damaged there is a part of me that thinks I deserve it.  I must have done something to cause the problem. I mistreated it, I purchased the wrong kind, I did not do enough research or enough to keep it safe. I do not deserve to have this thing. I am a bad person.

Most of that is of course not conscious thought but it is certainly true.  As almost all things do, it goes back to childhood.  Every action had a consequence and nothing seemed to be freely given, it had to be earned. Gifts were given and then taken back for bad behavior or for not doing something that was expected, usually cleaning. Affection was rare and again easily taken away for digressions.

If something broke or did not work correctly the first question was always “what did you do wrong?”.  As bad things happened to me as a child or teenager there was a big part of me that assumed the blame. I must have done something to deserve it. I have never been able to completely shake that but I am at least able to work around it now.

All this because my son-in-law gave me a beat up scratched screen tablet (galaxy note 8.0) that I LOVE! So much better than my last cheap POS  kindle.

 

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