Jumble & Word Search

My mind is so full of only myself these days that I have trouble focusing on anything else. I’m not complaining, or doing some sort of excuse for being selfish, I am just so busy balancing all of the things, medicines, and appointments and pains and finding options for getting stronger or staying healthy, that it’s almost all of I have the space for.

I start thinking about something nice and esoteric and then I accidentally bump one of my poor cracked fingertips on something and I am back to the pain and finding solutions. I am currently in a good eating part of my bodies ups and downs so I am very happy about that. For the last year I have been doing a liquid breakfast. Usually some sort of meal replacement bottle that I can buy at the grocery store. I just can’t eat in the mornings, and by morning I mean the first three hours. So I finally went and found a nice healthy organic version of a meal replacement that I can pop onto my ninja with water or almond milk and ice. It’s not exactly a flavor I crave but it’s tolerable and it’s full of nutrition. I also found some vitamin/supplement type capsules that I can tolerate a couple of months ago so I have been trying to make sure I take those daily. What a difference getting nutrition can make.

I’m also constantly thinking about my poor lungs. I am on round three of antibiotics. I exercise hard. I really do. Sweat pouring down, giving it everything I have hard. My muscles are getting so much stronger but I don’t think I will ever get my cardio back. I like being strong, but dislike always being out of breath. I wonder if maybe the pulmonologist can help me with that.  I will not be doing side crunches again for a very very long time! They  worked my upper back muscles so now it hurts when I breathe. We just cannot ever have that. It completely freaks me out. I wake up thinking I can’t breathe. No.

I was actually thinking about skipping tonight’s workout and hitting a yoga session. It’s been a year. 🙁

I meet more and more people at the gym that make me smile. It is such a weird bonding experience. I wonder how I would have been different if I had a positive experience like this available every day, twenty years ago. Little changes can have such a resounding impact.

I sweat like a freaking fountain when I work out and now my hair is just long enough that when it is dripping sweat it starts curling all over the place. Makes me laugh.

I haven’t been able to contact the physical therapy place to try the infrared treatments. How weird is that? I must just have really bad timing. I have NO doctor appointments this week. I will make up for it by having chemo and then four different doctors in the ten days after.

Okay. Off to the shower then breakfast.



4 thoughts on “Jumble & Word Search

  1. It didn’t sound like you were complaining or being selfish just acknowledging. Honestly, I don’t know how much else you could put in your brain. Keeping all of this in order is really like a full time job with overtime.

    I bet your hair is cute when it curls up. 🙂

    I am really glad you are going to see a pulmonologist. I hope s/he has some good advice for you.

    Have a good day!

  2. I’m glad you can find people who make you smile. That’s hard sometimes. “They” say that the act of smiling itself can make you feel happier. I’m not convinced. All the best.

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