My mind is so full of only myself these days that I have trouble focusing on anything else. I’m not complaining, or doing some sort of excuse for being selfish, I am just so busy balancing all of the things, medicines, and appointments and pains and finding options for getting stronger or staying healthy, that it’s almost all of I have the space for.
I start thinking about something nice and esoteric and then I accidentally bump one of my poor cracked fingertips on something and I am back to the pain and finding solutions. I am currently in a good eating part of my bodies ups and downs so I am very happy about that. For the last year I have been doing a liquid breakfast. Usually some sort of meal replacement bottle that I can buy at the grocery store. I just can’t eat in the mornings, and by morning I mean the first three hours. So I finally went and found a nice healthy organic version of a meal replacement that I can pop onto my ninja with water or almond milk and ice. It’s not exactly a flavor I crave but it’s tolerable and it’s full of nutrition. I also found some vitamin/supplement type capsules that I can tolerate a couple of months ago so I have been trying to make sure I take those daily. What a difference getting nutrition can make.
I’m also constantly thinking about my poor lungs. I am on round three of antibiotics. I exercise hard. I really do. Sweat pouring down, giving it everything I have hard. My muscles are getting so much stronger but I don’t think I will ever get my cardio back. I like being strong, but dislike always being out of breath. I wonder if maybe the pulmonologist can help me with that. I will not be doing side crunches again for a very very long time! They worked my upper back muscles so now it hurts when I breathe. We just cannot ever have that. It completely freaks me out. I wake up thinking I can’t breathe. No.
I was actually thinking about skipping tonight’s workout and hitting a yoga session. It’s been a year. 🙁
I meet more and more people at the gym that make me smile. It is such a weird bonding experience. I wonder how I would have been different if I had a positive experience like this available every day, twenty years ago. Little changes can have such a resounding impact.
I sweat like a freaking fountain when I work out and now my hair is just long enough that when it is dripping sweat it starts curling all over the place. Makes me laugh.
I haven’t been able to contact the physical therapy place to try the infrared treatments. How weird is that? I must just have really bad timing. I have NO doctor appointments this week. I will make up for it by having chemo and then four different doctors in the ten days after.
Okay. Off to the shower then breakfast.