Just pondering…

For some people it’s easier to express their feelings for people they aren’t close to. They can look at a hurt child and feel sympathy and concern and take care of this stranger but if their own child is hurt they are more likely to pat the kid on the head and say “Come on, it doesn’t hurt that much, go play.” I know these statements are true so I started thinking about why.

Theories

It is safer to show weakness to someone who can not really hurt you.  If it is someone you care deeply about they are then able to see the chinks in your armor and have the ability to wound you.

If you love someone unconditionally with all of your heart and soul and they are hurt you might not be able to cope, you must be the tough one to give them someone to lean on.

If you let the world see how much you care about someone then something will happen to that person and you will lose them. It is just the way life works.

As a person gets to know you, over time they will start to see your faults. The more open and honest you are with them the less they will like you. It is better to remain aloof and closed off.

 

I think that it really all comes down to safety and trust.

 

I’m sure for many months random pictures from vacation will show up on here.

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7 thoughts on “Just pondering…

  1. All of the above at various times. I would say that out of all the people I know, you are the most cautious about sharing your weakness or concerns.

    People are going to screw up and do stupid things. I think a lot of times they are just being stupid but sure there are those people who intentionally use that info to hurt you but mostly I think people are stupid and not thinking or they are so consumed with their own crap that they just don’t think.

    And this “As a person gets to know you, over time they will start to see your faults. The more open and honest you are with them the less they will like you. It is better to remain aloof and closed off.” You can’t not open up to people because maybe they won’t like you. I think most people aren’t as bothered by things as you think they might be. I was trying to think what you could tell me that would make me not like you and it would have to be something like you tortured and murdered someone. Then I would think we would have to get you help because I don’t think that is the kind of person you are and you must of had a psychotic break which isn’t your fault.

    I sometimes think, how can these people like me??? I am such a crabby bitch and I am not responsive enough and well, yet you all still seem to like me so I realize either you see those things and are willing to look past them because well, I am human. Or I am over-dramatizing things and you still like me. People can still love people despite their idiosyncrasies or irritating habits.

    1. I agree with everything you say, as I always do. 🙂
      It is not that we love you despite your faults, but because of them. It is part of what makes you, you. I love how self aware you are and how open you are to see people for who they really are.

      When I first started writing this post it was specifically about someone but I actually spent about 7 hours thinking about this tiny amount of words because I realize that I am by far the biggest culprit. I think the 2nd biggest culprit in my circle is my sister. Which does say a lot doesn’t it?

      I do not think at this point in my life I am as guilty of these behaviors as I used to be, and I tend to go back and forth depending on the circumstances. I think by the time I am about 130 I’ll have figured out all of the garbage. For me having kids was a smart thing. I have always loved them unconditionally and without restraint and I think it really allowed me to know that you can do that.

  2. 🙂 I just really like you.

    Sometimes when you are thinking out loud, it is a little bit of a challenging for me because I am not always sure where you are coming from with your thoughts. Then I guess and I am not sure I am always following where you are coming from or going with what you are saying. So if my response doesn’t seem right on with where you are coming from, that is why. I kind of need things to be really spelled out. I guess I thought this was about you but you were really thinking about someone else.

    I like the picture. Interesting memorial.

    1. I find that when you answer my thinking out loud posts you usually hit on something that is right on point. Sometimes it is my subtext, sometimes it is completely unconscious on my part but you are accurate none the less.
      My next thinking out loud is about perfectionism. I’ve been pondering it for hours already and it is only three sentences long so far.

  3. Ah, perfectionism is evil. That and procrastination keep me from getting so much done.

    I learned a lot about perfectionism from two woodworkers. One just went at it and yes, there were imperfections in his work but things were finished. The other was so incredibly talented but didn’t get a lot done because there was always some issue.

    While I appreciate perfectionism in people who are designing buildings and bridges, I know, for my projects, I need to let go of it.

  4. I question why someone with all of the questions and spot on theory doesn’t get what I see when I read, listen and hear you. Like you are on the precipice of going over the edge to true enlightenment yet you still have a couple of fingers squeezed tight on the rim. Your incite fullness would lead me to believe you have it figured out….yet I know you haven’t gotten there yet?? …and another yet…you see and understand others so well. Lots of thinking!

    1. Thank you very much! Sometimes I think I’ve got it all figured out and really the world would just be better if they would listen to what I tell them! But then…. 🙂

Thoughts?