My long list of disgusting

I broke one of my cardinal rules yesterday and was judgmental. Vocally. Feel bad about that. 🙁

I also just plain old feel bad. This round of chemo has sent my body into a pit of uhg. I just can’t seem to get bounced back.  One of things I have heard quite a few times, and now I know I am not alone in this, is from a nurse or doctor. I will say I am having this reaction to the chemo and they will say, Oh, that’s not a side effect.  That’s wrong. Every persons body reacts differently and maybe something isn’t a “common” side effect but if you go read the studies you’ll find it, or something similar is known to occur. This got me thinking of all of the different side effects I’ve had from the three different chemo meds I have had. This is my list starting from the top.

 

SideEffects

Hair thinning, hair loss. Ringing ears, ear aches. Yellow eyes. Bad skin, dry, saggy, feels nasty. Bad sinuses – this one deserves extra explanation because my sinuses have gone absolutely crazy. I go from all dried up to floods of mucus, then huge amounts of blood way up in my sinuses. Sneezing.  Then is all clears up again. Teeth hurt, sores in your mouth. Tingly lips & tongue. Very altered taste buds, or no ability to taste. Sore throat. Raw throat. Changed voice. Trouble swallowing, feels like there is a golf ball in my throat. Sore neck. Headache. A complete inability to focus your mind. Even television is too much effort and you just stare at the ceiling.

Fainting. Fatigue. No control over your body temperature. Randomly burning up then shivering with the cold.

Lungs hurt. Tight. coughing. Hard to breath.

Heart races, blood pressure sky-rockets then plummets.

Digestion – I don’t even know where to start here. Everything that can go wrong, may go wrong, and all extremes. At one time or another everything has broken. Heartburn, nausea, vomiting (that’s new for today) loud stomach noises, diarrhea, constipation, floods of bile and acid, hungry all the time, no appetite.

Swollen hands, swollen legs, swollen feet.  Sudden loss of swelling and now prune skin! Loss of feeling in hands and feet. Neuropathy, which is the opposite of loss of feeling. Weird Nail growth, changing colors, changing thickness. Grows fast, stops growing.

An all over yellow color. My feet frequently look like I have been doing a pedi with mustard.

Those are all of the symptoms I can think of that I have experienced in the last six months. Not all of them at once thank goodness. but seriously, if someone says – my eye is twitching from the chemo (I just remember eye twitching – it’s been doing it since friday) just assume they know what they’re talking about and it really is a side effect.

There! Now I feel better for saying it all. Well, that’s not true. My fingernails hurt from typing it all. Craziness.

I had my 2nd Follow up CT Scan today. We’ll find out next week what the tumors are doing. More chemo, no more chemo? Radiation?

Cleaned the oven so my goal of accomplishing at least one thing a day is complete.. Just going to read for the rest of the day I think. Tomorrow I think I will cook! Hopefully Vegetarian Salisbury steaks and mashed potatoes.

 

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12 thoughts on “My long list of disgusting

  1. Oh, so awful to get so many side effects in such short order! I took something for a while that made food nauseating to me. I lost weight, but it was pretty embarrassing for Hubby when I would rush out of a restaurant! Of course that doesn’t compare to yours but side effects suck. I have heard of people quitting their chemo because of that.
    I’m glad you got your oven cleaned, but now I feel a bit guity because that is more than I do on some days! I continue to admire your attitude and wish you luck!

  2. Are you saying you thought I looked fat yesterday? I was bloated don’t be so judgemental, stick to just mental that my motto!

  3. I was going to ask you one day about chemo side effects but thought it was probably none of my business. I’m glad you shared! Im not even able to understand the horrific mental abuse it is if even one of those things would occur! Omg!

    What is the weird thing you can now do with your tongue?

    1. Nina! Have I taught you nothing? Always ask.
      Actually the tongue thing is something that happened to Erin. She now has a forked one. In other words, she’s LYING! 🙂

  4. Wow, that is super suckish! I’m so sorry that you’ve endured this! I’m glad you don’t have them all of the time and all at once! I have every body part crossed….okay not every, but most….and prayers and well wishes for your CT scan results. I think of you daily and send prayers up, and good thought westward to you! Did you use oven cleaner or the self clean on your oven? Mine is a hot mess. Using self clean scares me because it gets so hot!

    1. Easy Off Heavy Duty. I use to have a self-cleaning and I liked it. I use to clean my oven a lot in the winter! This isn’t so bad. My oven was really a mess and my oven cleaner old so I didn’t have enough to do it really well. I’ll do it again soon.

  5. Hi! What else would it be if it wasn’t a side effect? I hate when medical people are dismissive. Isn’t kind of amazing and shocking what a body can withstand for the sake of healing. You really truly are a warrior.

    As for you having a bad moment yesterday please reread your post and cut yourself some slack. I can’t even imagine the bitchy wrath my family would be living with if I was going through what you are going through.

    Aren’t books and reading a wonderful gift!?!

    You know what I am making for dinner tonight??? Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes. Great minds think alike – chickie!

    I hope it is a good day!

    1. But mine was at a Cancer Support Group! Probably one of the worst places to be judgmental. Nothing I can do about it now and it wasn’t real bad.

      I do love to read. I am so happy to have to have time again. 🙂 BIG FONT on the Nexus allows me to read for hours and hours. I am enjoying the JK Rowling – Casual Vacancy but the first 100 pages (it’s big book) were all just characters, lots and lots of characters! Once I got past that I was hooked.

      I am pretty excited to try the Salisbury Steak. Erin has made it before and it was good but I am trying a different recipe. That is if I brave the temperatures and go to the grocery store. I am meeting my sister for lunch so hopefully once I am out I’ll just keep on moving and go to Krogers.

  6. What’s done is done. Endeavor to be more like you want to be next time and move on.

    I have had people say to me that reading on the Kindle isn’t like reading a “real” book, which I find annoying but really it makes reading so much easier for me. Like you said you can read with the size font and the type of font that is most comfy for your eyes. And for me, Kindles aren’t dusty like books. Books kill my allergies.

    And that is why I don’t read JK. That amount of detail just gets boring to me – it is a whole ADD thing, I think.

    Stay warm and be careful out there today! I hope you have a yummy lunch!

Thoughts?