I have had to explore my feelings, not ever my favorite thing, about not being part of a group, twice! In two different situations in the recent months.
It was a painful thing the first time and an interesting one the second. If you have never experienced the feeling of being just outside of a circle of people and not allowed in, it is not a pleasant feeling. But it has made me question my own perceptions of myself. I think in most situations I am reserved but friendly when approached. My problem is when I decide I like you and want to be part of your group I just assume that you have somehow heard and agree with my inner monologue and let me in.
I am trying not to make this too disjointed but my thoughts are rambling and not cohesive on this subject. So maybe we will switch to a stream of consciousness and see where we end up.
The term “mean girls” somehow is apt in our society in adult women. Why?
The best way to adopt the mean girl persona is to pretend to not recognize them even through you do or pretend to not notice they are even there.It says immediately, you are not important.
Sometimes when you feel like you are being excluded, you are not.You are just putting an overlay of your own insecurities on the situation.
Nope, that is all I have today. My brain is muted and quiet today. I have a dog making happy rolling around in her bed noises and a cat trying to cuddle with me. I have so much going on for the next couple of weeks.
I read a book this weekend that I thought was interesting and really fit with my thought patterns the last few months. I did not realize it was a YA book when I grabbed it from the library (online) but it was a quick read. I cannot remember the name! Damn it. Hold on. The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett. The main character is a high school senior who feels like she has been ostracized and is not part of any group.
I did not feel good all weekend! My eyes are watery and my sinuses, hips and arms are all burning for three different reasons. I did sleep really well Saturday night and last night but now I just want to curl up and go back to sleep. I am a slug this month.