Never blog on a Saturday Night

because it probably means you are feeling sorry for yourself.

It seems like I have been spending years now trying to improve myself. To be stronger and healthier and an all around better person.  I just do not seem to b making any headway though. My progress is so minimal that even the smallest thing sets me back to where I was or even further back. It is frustrating.

I am sure I will be peppier tomorrow. On the other hand, Monday is liquid diet only day in preparation for Tuesday colonoscopy so any happy joyfullness will be hidden under a bushel of bitter bitching for 36 hours.

I dreamed that I moved into a house and there were all these little wooden shelf and drawer things, tiny little wood things and I found all sorts of things including money. It is the second time I have dreamed of those little wooden things. I also dreamed I took an elevator to the top floor of a building and the ceiling was a huge aquarium and it gave me a terrible panic attack when the blue whale swam over me!



4 thoughts on “Never blog on a Saturday Night

  1. I would say it seems you are making better headway than you are giving yourself credit for. You are already aware that it is just one little wooden box at a time! ❤

  2. Hey you!

    I just wish I was there to give you a big hug. I am always so amazed at how you push through. I know you were having a moment when you wrote this but I know you will come through it stronger and more determined. Can you even imagine where you would be if you hadn’t been pushing so hard all of these years?

    Hang in there!

  3. I just spent my entire first cup of coffee replying to you and now lost it. 🙁
    I hope you are sleeping because I am sure the last weeks have left you tired. This morning, after reading your FB post, I was thinking of Aileen.I can not imagine how difficult her hours are. What a big change.
    I do not normally think about “what ifs” but I did.Honestly I think the pnemonia and infection would have gotten me. I have been very lucky.

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