I understand about living in the moment.
A couple of years ago I wrote a post trying to explain my feelings about waiting for catastrophic news. Though I hadn’t explained that I was waiting for catastrophic news. It was talking about my interpretation of living in the moment. It was interesting to me how different people interpreted the post. Yes, this was back when people commented on posts! Do you know the other day I had 67 people click through from facebook and read, but no one ever comments. It’s very weird. You psycho stalkers!
Anywho… I am back in the position of waiting for catastrophic news but this time since I talked it about it openly and publicly I can explore my feelings and reactions to it publicly. I do not dwell on the waiting part. For every moment that I don’t know I can enjoy what I am doing at that moment. It started on Thursday. When I went for a walk at lunchtime on Thursday a part of me said what if this is the last lunchtime walk I get to take? So I enjoyed it even more. I looked at every mushroom and I checked on some grapes that I have been watching grow all summer. I enjoyed the music in my ears and amazing feeling of freedom that I get from taking a half hour in the middle of a work day to wander our beautiful little neighborhood. I hope JMS hired the guy that I helped when he was lost in the neighborhood. He seemed like such a nice guy.
On Thursday when I was leaving my workout I was thinking, what if I don’t get to work out with these people again? -wait. I must explain. It’s not like I’m thinking I’m going to be dead but there are a lot of things that can happen and I know that if on Tuesday afternoon they say you have cancer in the lungs things will change drastically and my lifes patterns will be disrupted, at the least, for a long time. And in that time the rest of the world will go on. Maybe by the time I get back to working out, they won’t be. They have been so much fun an enjoyed the last 10 months so much. They have helped me learn now strong I can be physically, not just mentally.
For me, that is what living in the moment is. Stopping and noting each and every moment. I am not sitting around thinking of the negative consequence of any news that I might get, I am filling my brain with the joy I feel at each and every moment of my life right now, just in case I have to adapt and make changes later. If everything changes there will be still be moments, they will just be different and I may have to look a little harder to find them.