Last week I spoke to someone who was telling me about some problems a relative was having. This relative was dealing with a cancer diagnosis, and then was hit by the death of a close friend. This threw them into a deep depression. I’ve been trying to put myself into that dark place and wondering if I was in that position what my family and friends would be able to do to help me.
So I picture myself in such a sad and depressed state that I can’t get out of bed. I lay in my bed all day just sleeping and crying, not eating, not reading, not playing with my kitten. I think the only acceptable thing that I would be able to tolerate is if my family took turns curling up in bed with me. Not trying to cheer me up, not trying to push me through it, just being there. I also think this would be a great time to be pushing some heavy duty meds on me. I think you need that when you are in a pit that deep and dark. Maybe it’s not enough to bring you completely back but it will be a little bit of light for you to see the ladder out. I think I would also appreciate light and smells. Fresh flowers in my room, and foods that I love cooking so I can smell them.
Can you picture yourself in the spot?
Not much going on. I’m feeling very very cold and sleepy. My hands are always like ice now. I think it’s going to be a long winter. I have a space heater on my desk at work. I think I’ll just start carrying on with me room to room at home.
My last scheduled chemo round is this week. Then the big CT to see what we do next. No pressure chemo drugs – but now’s your chance to show what you can do.
Tomorrow is Veterans Day and I will be going at lunch to a Veterans Day ceremony and passing out flags on behalf of the National Exchange club. Looking forward to that!