Driving to IKEA I told my husband one of my dark moment thoughts. Sometimes I get a bad headache and I just remind myself. It’s just a moment in my life. Or if I am feeling sick from chemo I think I just have to get through and then it will be better. Some days, like today when everything hurts, my joints are all swollen and very painful and the neuropathy in my feet is really getting to a whole new level, the tops of my feet are starting to burn, I will suddenly realize. This is it. This is never going to go away. It’s just going to get worse. It’s like the screach of brakes on blacktop. Sobering thought.
when we were at IKEA I discovered they added big squishy bath mats in the same color as my towels. They must be an inch thick pile. Brought it home, threw it in the bathroom and walked on it. And parts of it felt like melted nylon knobs. I thought maybe something, like super glue had gotten on it, reached down and touched it and discovered it’s incredible soft, it’s just my feet. 🙁 this is bad.