Pollyanna….where are you?

Feeling a little tired today. Worn out. Hopefully it’s just a temporary drag on my peppiness. I have been thinking how exhausting it will be if I have to continue to be a cheerleader for my treatment. Still no clinical trials in site. My oncologist called me today (and wasn’t that a surprise) just to give me an update. He hasn’t been able to find one either. He has a couple of more places to check and he will look at a couple I sent him that were possibles.

Tomorrow we will take our big black dog Mili to the vet for the last time. I have a sedative to give her two hours before but I am pretty sure it’s my husband and I that will be the ones who need the sedative. We’re holding on by a thread to begin with the last couple of weeks and this is really just a straw too big for this particular camels back. My daughter will come with us which is very nice.

I just did a search on Mili and these are the only posts I got.

http://tlm0000.wordpress.com/2013/04/16/a-small-life-lesson/

http://tlm0000.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/saturday-playing-with-the-camera/

http://tlm0000.wordpress.com/2008/12/05/a-page-of-mili/

I find it hard to believe that’s all I have of her!

I searched big black dog and found one more:

http://tlm0000.wordpress.com/2011/07/25/on-to-the-next-week/

That date is my sons birthday and it was also the week I was diagnosed with Cancer #1 but had not started talking about it publicly yet.

Well isn’t this a cheerful post! Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good.  OH! I ATE RAW CUCUMBER yesterday and am still here to talk about it! And apple, and raw carrot and a bit of spinach! That’s almost a whole salad!

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4 thoughts on “Pollyanna….where are you?

  1. It is okay to have down times. And this is the perfect place to do it. The people here are here to support you. One moment at a time if need be.

    It is hard in the best of times to have a sick dog, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be now. I am glad your daughter will be with you. Like Tami said Mili has had a wonderful life with you.

    I can’t believe you were able to eat all of that raw food and not get sick. How exciting and wonderful.

    I will keep you and your hubby in my thoughts today. Maybe this would be a good time to let all that pent up emotion out. It is okay to be sad and grieve and you really do need to release it. Love and hugs dear friend.

  2. I’m so sorry about Milli.
    Bad days Good days they happen. But you know that.
    Sending every good thought your way
    take care!

  3. Phil and I are both shaking our heads. It’s hard enough losing a pet but on top of what you are dealing with your health it is no wonder u r hanging on by a thread. That was a totally run together sentence but I’m on my iPad.

Thoughts?