There is this small part of me that thinks when I die, and let’s face it, odds are good it will be from cancer, it will be because I didn’t tell the doctor something he needed to know.
Like when I had pneumonia and then the MAC infection. I was sick for like 8 weeks before I mentioned it. Or today I am so sinusey and I suddenly started thinking maybe there is a little tiny tumor growing in my head giving me a headache and all this pressure. Or my ear canal has been hurting for a couple of months. It feels like the inside of my ear is getting stiff. So what happens is I spend a year with all these little symptoms of bizarre unimportant things and then suddenly some poor doctor gets unloaded on because I am all full of angst and need to empty my angst tank.
This is the result of believing you are responsible for your own life. For the most part I then must also assume all blame. It would be so much easier to be a little more…hmmm, cannot think of the word. Vacant? Not paying attention kind of person? Oh! What is the lyric from Wicked? Unencumbered?