I assumed that this Saturday would be about as bad as the last round of chemo.. Day 4 is really the low point. I was right.
Started somewhere in the middle of the night. I vaguely remember waking up to unbelievable dizziness. I don’t know, do you think it’s possible to wake up to faint? I think that’s what happened. Have you ever passed out? The world starts wobbling – everything becomes like looking through water. Then I get very cold, then very hot, then flop sweat. Then the world starts going black. It’s not the most pleasant feeling.
So I woke up and remember trying to call Corey, but I couldn’t get enough air to speak. Corey said he just remembers me groaning. The day didn’t really get much better until a little bit ago. Stayed in bed all day, 6:30 at night, and I’m still in bed.
From 10,000 steps a day to 100.
Got up around 1 to go make a cup of tea and there we went again. Faint #2. This time Corey was in the room and it was such a relief to be able to say, I’m going to faint again and have him leap up to help me. He helped me back into bed and I slept for a couple of hours. I noticed that my skin starts getting pale after the first treatment on Wednesday and by Saturday morning my lips are white. I took a picture of my cat this morning and you can see my lips have no color. Now they do. 🙂 So I guess I’m over the worst of it.
As Corey was walking/carrying/dragging me back to bed I thought about people who are alone and going through this. I am so lucky. I cannot imagine being unable to care for myself but being alone. Or worse yet, what if I were a single parent with your children? How terrifying that must be. Makes my heart hurt to think of it. I wish I could think of something to do to help someone in that situation. How would you even know?
I wanted to blog in the midst of feeling truly horrible because I don’t want to only talk about the feeling better parts, but honestly I just couldn’t work up the oomph. So here I am on the upswing. Another 12 hours in bed, and then hopefully a really long shower because I stink!