Ups & Downs

I assumed that this Saturday would be about as bad as the last round of chemo.. Day 4 is really the low point. I was right.

Started somewhere in the middle of the night. I vaguely remember waking up to unbelievable dizziness. I don’t know, do you think it’s possible to wake up to faint?  I think that’s what happened. Have you ever passed out? The world starts wobbling – everything becomes like looking through water. Then I get very cold, then very hot, then flop sweat. Then the world starts going black. It’s not the most pleasant feeling.

So I woke up and remember trying to call Corey, but I couldn’t get enough air to speak. Corey said he just remembers me groaning. The day didn’t really get much better until a little bit ago. Stayed in bed all day, 6:30 at night, and I’m still in bed.



From 10,000 steps a day to 100.

Got up around 1 to go make a cup of tea and there we went again. Faint #2. This time Corey was in the room and it was such  a relief to be able to say, I’m going to faint again and have him leap up to help me. He helped me back into bed and I slept for a couple of hours. I noticed that my skin starts getting pale after the first treatment on Wednesday and by Saturday morning my lips are white. I took a picture of my cat this morning and you can see my lips have no color. Now they do. 🙂 So I guess I’m over the worst of it.

As Corey was walking/carrying/dragging me back to bed I thought about people who are alone and going through this. I am so lucky.  I cannot imagine being unable to care for myself but being alone. Or worse yet, what if I were a single parent with your children? How terrifying that must be. Makes my heart hurt to think of it. I wish I could think of something to do to help someone in that situation. How would you even know?

I wanted to blog in the midst of feeling truly horrible because I don’t want to only talk about the feeling better parts, but honestly I just couldn’t work up the oomph. So here I am on the upswing. Another 12 hours in bed, and then hopefully a really long shower because I stink!






3 thoughts on “Ups & Downs

  1. Wow thats a lot to go through. You must feel like hell when going through that. So very glad you have Corey and your family there. Your right, what would someone alone do. Gives me pause. Glad you’re on the upswing. Take care!

  2. …and after that…you are wishing you could help someone else going thru this hell. Nothing else needs to be said about the person you are. Love and admiration is what I feel for you!!!!

  3. I’m thankful you have Corey, too. I think they have the administration timed well so that when you are going through the worst of it, it is the weekend and that family is more likely to

    I can’t imagine how awful this would be to go through it alone or as a single parent. It seems we should have something set up within our healthcare system that would meet the needs of people who are alone and do not have family or friends to help them.

    Love and hugs dear friend. I hope you wake up feeling much better this morning.

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