So let’s think about the worst for a moment. Just for a minute – and you don’t have to read this!
Suppose I have my next CT Scan done and instead of hearing that my tumors are shrinking nicely I instead hear that they’ve quadrupled in size and a dozen more have popped up. I can tell you that this would be very bad. This would be the “there’s nothing more we can do for you” conversation.
So if that happens what next? What practicable things would have to happen next? Would I quit my job that same day? Would I take the extra time to show other people how to do the work I do that no one else does? Or would I say to hell with it and just walk away? How long does a good work ethic hold you when you know you only have so much time to live?
Would I keep reading? Playing Candy Crush, Words with Friends? Would I tell my Words with Friends Opponents that at some point I won’t be finishing a game?
Would I buy a big bag of all the junk food I love and avoid or would I go on a raw kale diet to buy myself more time? I think I would still try and eat as well as possible, no need to hasten things along.
Would I take a trip anywhere? Is there one last place that I really want to see? No. There isn’t, cause the point in seeing it is to have the memories, right?
I would spend a lot of time sitting outside. In my yard, in parks, walking trails. That’s what makes me feel good.
Would I say goodbye to people? I don’t think I would. I think I would write goodbyes to people and give someone my blog password to publish them all when I’m gone.
Would I stop caring what I look like? NO! I would do the opposite! I would wear my best looking outfits, and all my make up and jewelry. I don’t want anyone remembering me looking ugly.
I would try to make all of the end of life decisions so no one else had to do it for me.
What about my personal possessions? Clothes, jewelry, knickknacks? Would I just leave everything for my husband to sort out or would I take care of some of it first? I hope I would take care of most of it.
Or would I say to hell with all of the stuff above and start checking out alternate therapies? A nice trip to a clinic in Reno or Mexico? This is a trickier one. Many people have found good results from some therapies that are just not available through your common clinic or covered by your insurance. So this is also a bankrupting proposition. I really don’t think I would. I don’t know.
It’s sort of like the what would I do if I won a million dollars game, but in reverse.
There is a lot of coverage right now about right to die states because of the Brittany Maynard story. Did you know it’s only legal to end your own life in three states? Oregon, Washington & Vermont. http://www.deathwithdignity.org/advocates/national
I wonder what qualifies you as a resident of Vermont?