I have not been feeling good about myself. I have been a slug.
I just have lost all motivation to do or be anything. I am tired.
I am sleeping too much, exercising too little.
I am tired by noon and thinking I need a nap.
I can’t work up the energy to do anything for Christmas.
Sitting here today I started feeling a weird feeling. It is the beyond tired can’t move feeling. I suddenly recognize that I have felt this before. It is reminiscent of right before I was originally diagnosed with Cancer.
I start adding the clues together…Tired, Been telling the Medical staff over the last few months that the chemo is making me more and more fatigued, sleeping heavier and longer.
SHIT! I have active Cancer again! NO WONDER I AM TIRED! I am also an idiot.
I will now relax and push myself gently for the next four weeks until this tumor is gone. I will try to go to the gym because it will help keep my energy levels up but I will not berate myself for being a sloth.