I occasionally find myself spending far too much time thinking about the ways other people should change. The behaviors they have that they should work on correcting. For instance I was recently thinking about how different people react to a sudden lack of supervision. Some people take this as an opportunity to do things they can’t do with supervision, while other people use it as an opportunity to step up to a higher level and either set an example for others, or even take on some of the roles of supervision. There is also a third type which I think is the most common. Those people continue doing exactly what they did with supervision.
So I was thinking about how one would correct the behavior of the people who are more prone to take advantage of a situation to do things they normally wouldn’t do and that’s when it hit me. Maybe they don’t want to be the other type of person. Maybe I should stop thinking of ways to make them become the person I want them to be and just adjust my expectations. Anyone who has had kids knows that some behaviors are just part of the child and the personality. The trick for a parent is to not try to build a new personality for their child but to embrace and love the person their child is and just make sure they have the tools they need to make the right choices as they go on in life.
It’s the same for adults. Not all adults want to be the person in charge, or even the person with responsibility so I should stop trying to find ways to help them learn new behaviors. I am trying to learn to recognize and say to myself more often that it’s not my problem. Again just like with your children. When they’re grown you have to get to the point where you don’t tell them what to do. Having spent time with my daughter I am once again completely assured that she is a competent intelligent adult. She may not always make the choices that I want her to make, or that I would make if I were her, but she makes her own choices and deals with all of the consequences, good or bad. She is her own person and that’s what makes her a person I would spend 48 straight hours with. I would not want to spend 48 hours straight with someone exactly like me.
This was probably rambley, sorry. Sometimes I need to type to work out the thought patterns.
the kind of person who takes advantage of every situation
or the kind of person who does the right thing.